


My mother will start to worry

by starker_3000



Series: Christmas fics [5]
Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21913057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starker_3000/pseuds/starker_3000
Summary: title comes from Baby It's Cold Outside.Eddie was freaking out. Richie knew this because he had been in the bathroom for the past 13 minutes, when normally, even if Eddie was stalling, it would only take him 8 minutes. Richie fretted about what had happened earlier that evening, when the whole world slowed and all he could see was Eddie.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Christmas fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577854
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	My mother will start to worry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lysscor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lysscor/gifts).



Richie had been planning this Christmas party since he had heard the news of Bev and Ben moving away, and there was no way Eddie wouldn't be going. Richie and the others would probably start a manhunt if Eddie didn't show up fifteen minutes early like he usually did. That meant Eddie, for the first time since moving out of his mother's house, would not be returning for Christmas. He didn't know how to feel about not going home. He was happy about it, but then felt enormous guilt from being happy.

He was happy because he wouldn't have to listen to the half-truths he had been fed his whole life, before he even knew what half the words even meant. The word 'gay' came up a lot, almost as much as the missed meals and the taste of sick in the back of his throat, the too hot showers and the scrubbed raw skin, as if 'gay' was an illness that could be washed away, much like everything else his mother said he had been diagnosed with. His mother kept telling him that he would be nothing without her, that he would be dead in a ditch somewhere if he didn't have her to look after him, that the world past her four walls was out to get him. And because she was his mother, he believed her. He stayed. He kept going back.

It took a long time for him to realize that his mother was wrong, and his friends helped him a lot through that process. He probably wouldn't be where he is now if he hadn't had them then. He still experienced his fair share of bad days though. In his darkest moments, often found in the shadowy corners of his room at 3 in the morning when he couldn't sleep, a voice in his head that sounded the most like his mother telling him that he was nothing, that he could be nothing without her. That he would always come crawling back to her side, that surviving without her was impossible. Especially now that he wasn't visiting her during the Christmas season, when that was often the only time he did see her, meant more shadows, more loud voices, and made him crave the feeling of tender skin and an empty stomach.

"Eds, you still with me?" Richie poked his head out from the kitchen, one hand wrapped around the door jamb. "I've been calling you." Richie chuckled, watching Eddie with worried eyes and a concerned look on his face.

"Y-yeah, I'm all good…." Eddie sighs, slumping his shoulders and grabbing the back of one of the dining chairs, resting his weight on it. His eyes couldn't help but linger on Richie's figure as he stood in the doorway, bathed in the lights of the kitchen. _He looks good._ His traitorous mind whispers and he rights himself, shaking that thought out of his head.

"Are you sure, you've got that face." Richie stated, grinning.

"And what face is that?" Eddie inquires, only to burst out laughing when he sees Richie grossly over-exaggerating his facial features in a mockery of the most likely love-struck expression Eddie wore.

"Oh, come on! I don't look like that." Eddie complained, hands hitting the back of the chair. 

"That is untrue because that is the face you just made." Richie said, laughing at Eddie's pout, moving closer to Eddie as if he's about to share a secret. Eddie watches him move, smirking slightly and quickly gaining a lackluster expression at how close the two were. "You sure you good, Eds? You had that look that you only get when thinking about your mom." Richie placed his hand on Eddie's shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze. Richie's proximity was always a bit too close for friends, but the comfort level varied with him for a variety of people, and Eddie never wanted to get his hopes up by reading too much into things, so he just placed a hand on top of Richie's, patting it a couple times.

"I'll be fine, Richie." he smiles and moves out of Richie's grasp and into the kitchen to further set the table before everyone arrived.

"Whatever you say, Eddie Spaghetti." Richie hums as follows Eddie to the kitchen. "Guess we should finish getting the table ready, huh?" 

"Yup!" Eddie exclaims, carrying a dish of cheesy potatoes to the table.

____________________________________________________________________________

Eddie was freaking out. Richie knew this because he had been in the bathroom for the past 13 minutes, when normally, even if Eddie was stalling, it would only take him 8 minutes. Richie fretted about what had happened earlier that evening, when the whole world slowed and all he could see was Eddie. He was terrified that his crush had been found out, and that's the reason behind the 13 minute bathroom visit. Richie wasn't about to let his stupid feelings get in the way of such a great friendship, so he would pretend that nothing had happened. He still moved to the bathroom door, just to check on Eddie, on the basis that he would want Eddie to check on him too. 

"Eds, you in there?" he whispered, knocking softly. He didn't get a response and his worry skyrocketed. An endless loop of _You've been found out_ kept playing in his mind. "I'm coming in, OK?" Richie put his hand on the doorknob and twisted, but the door didn't open. The door was locked. **He knows. Fuck.**

"Is he okay?" Bev questions in a hushed tone from the end of the hallway.

"The door is locked." Richie murmured, feeling the burn of oncoming tears. He moves away from the bathroom door and into Bev's outstretched arms. "What if he doesn't open the door?" Richie sobbed, hugging Beverly, really hoping his tears weren't staining the fabric of her shirt. _What if he doesn't let me in? What have I done?_

"I know him, and I know you. He'll let you back in, just give him time." Bev lifts Richie's head from her shoulder and wipes a stray tear travelling down his cheek. Her hands move to his shoulders, then fall to her sides. She smiles softly at him and moves toward the dining room. Richie hovers a moment more in the hallway just in case the door clicks, but nothing happens. He follows Bev's footsteps and moves back towards the dining room.

After everyone had left, Richie quickly moved back to the bathroom door. He knocked once more, but this time, expected no response.

"Eddie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I scared you or if I did something wrong. I'm worried about you, Eds. I'm really worried that I've fucked everything up or made you hate me in some way. Eds, I couldn't live with myself if I somehow ruined our relationship. You mean the world to me, Eddie Spaghetti. My life would be so empty without you in it." Richie paused to take a breath, knowing it was now or never. He needed to tell Eddie how he truly felt. "Eddie Kaspbrak. I like you. A lot. More than I should. I've liked you for a while now. I never wanted to ruin our friendship, so I didn't say anything, but I need you to know how much you mean to me." he rested his forehead against the door, feeling a weight come off his shoulders from finally admitting to it. He was hoping and praying for any kind of response, when he almost fell forward at the bathroom door opening. Eddie stood in the doorway. He was lit up from behind by the bathroom lights and never looked prettier, even with the splotchy face he got when he cried, tears running down his cheeks.

From behind lips that had been bitten raw, a quiet, "did you mean that?" erupted. He knew what Eddie was asking. _Was his love genuine?_ After all that Eddie had gone through, there's no surprise that he would be skeptical, wondering whether or not the love was true or just a tool to gain trust only to be used against him. There was no doubt in Richie's mind that what he felt was true.

"Of course I meant it. I would never do that to you." Richie points out, and before he can say anything else, he feels a pair of lips against his own. His hands instinctively reach up into Eddie's hair and he feels at home. Eddie soon goes to move away and Richie lets him, needing to catch his breath.

"Was that okay?" Eddie fiddled with the hem of his sweater, and Richie places one hand gently on Eddie's shoulder.

"Of course it was okay." Richie runs his fingers through Eddie's hair, shuffling forward a bit as Eddie leans in to the touch. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Please, yes." Eddie breathes out, and Richie leans down, pressing their lips together. _Home._


End file.
